When I Second-Guessed God

By Lynne Modranski

Lynne Modranski

In 2002, several southern churches invited me to sing. My husband, Steve, and I were three days into the week-long concert tour when my daughter called to announce her pregnancy.

In an instant, the distance between our hotel room in Nashville and our home in eastern Ohio widened. Just that morning we’d prayed for our grandchildren yet to come, never imagining the first would arrive in less than eight months.

As I shared my music and message in four more churches throughout Alabama and Mississippi, I announced we were grandparents.

Though it would be months before we met the wee one, we believed the tiny form was already our grandchild.

Our lives were full of joy as we planned a baby shower and bought a crib. At the time, Steve pastored a church about two hours from our daughter, but God had already scheduled a move.

Three months into the pregnancy we discovered we’d be leading a new church just ten minutes from our new grandbaby, in Steubenville, Ohio. We were thrilled!

In May, our daughter’s doctor decided it would be best if she induced labor prior to the due date. They chose a date in the middle of June. And for three weeks, I fumed. 

I wanted them to wait on God’s timing. It would be different if she carried long past 40 weeks or experienced complications. However, convenience seemed to be the only reason for this induction. Scheduling births kept the doctor from being called out in the middle of the night. 

Daily I poured my soul out to God. I cried out to Him to stop this doctor. Worried about my daughter and her baby, I followed the advice of 1 Thessalonians 5:17 and “prayed continually” for more than two weeks.

The big day

Lynne Modranski with her husband.

The final week of waiting saw my prayers change. Rather than giving my Heavenly Father creative ideas on how to protect my daughter and unborn grandchild, I turned my pleas into praise and began to tell God I trusted Him to take care of my loved ones.

I truly believed He would allow my daughter to carry this baby and deliver without being induced. However when that sunny June morning rolled around, I resigned myself to the fact the doctor had won.

Steve went to the hospital early to offer support before heading off to help his dad fix a roof. I would go a bit later. After all, induction takes forever, and our son-in-law didn’t need us hanging around for hours.

I’d just gotten out of the shower when my husband called with the change of plans. This would be an emergency cesarean delivery.

As I navigated the 20 minutes to the hospital, every worst case scenario played in my mind. I was certain the induction had gone wrong, and worry drove me to prayer. I had to keep reminding myself God was bigger than emergencies.

I arrived at the hospital just as they’d gotten my daughter stable enough for surgery. There was time for only a quick hug before they whisked my first baby girl away; there was not enough time to tell her how much I loved her and the tiny one I’d not even met yet.

The 30-minute wait stretched on forever. I had too much nervous energy to sit, and I’m not a natural crier, so there was no release in tears. I wavered between fear and faith as I prayed silently and listened to Steve and my son-in-law’s parents share the events of the morning.

My daughter’s plight had nothing to do with the induction. They’d never given her the Pitocin, the drug that would start the labor process. Before the staff could even administer the IV, my daughter’s blood pressure had plummeted, and she’d passed out. The placenta had torn away from the uterine wall.

Had she not already been in the hospital when it happened, we probably would have lost our daughter  and our grandson. 

As the excitement of the morning unfolded, I remembered my prayers of the past two weeks. Relief filled my heart.

God’s ultimately in control

Lynne Modranski with her Grandson.

I had begged God to cancel the appointment for inducing. Yet, the Almighty had bigger plans. I thought about the Sovereign getting Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem at just the right time. The world didn’t need a census, but prophecy demanded Jesus be born in David’s City.

In the same way, my Redeemer used a doctor who preferred planned births to get my daughter exactly where she needed to be at the right moment.

Her doctor may have scheduled Pitocin, but our Creator scheduled a miracle.

From the time her blood pressure stabilized until we were introduced to our grandson, everything went as smooth as possible. When my son-in-law brought out the six-pound bundle, four grandparents and three aunts waited to meet him.

Our daughter would need a little extra help at home for a week or so, but she’d be fine. I was so relieved -- and thankful.

My faith in Jesus grew that day. He overlooked my doubts and gave us a huge blessing. I learned to trust.

My Father’s words from Isaiah 55:9 came alive: “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Lynne Modranski is an author, speaker, and Biblical life coach with a passion to inspire and empower as she helps folks move from rules to relationship and Christian duty into adventure. A pastor’s wife, she leads worship and small groups at a small church in Northern West Virginia. When she’s not writing you’ll find her enjoying her husband, daughters and granddaughters. You might even catch her in a kayak or on a golf course. She can be found online at her website: www.LynneModranski.com, on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, LinkedIn @LynneModranski.