Patience, prayer and in vitro: God blessed my family

By Amy Vincelli

Since I was young, I wanted to be a mother. So when my husband and I tried for more than a year to get pregnant with no success I started to question why.

My husband Nick and I went to a doctor in our town and we did as much as we could. Then we were referred to Mayo Clinic in Rochester. 

We tried everything. Doctors ran tests on me. Then on my husband. The results seemed normal.

I had been fighting my way for years through feelings of anger, loneliness and unworthiness. 

Now, I felt like I was losing every good thing about myself. I began to think:

Why wasn't I good enough to be a mother? 

Why would God not bless us with something that seemed so natural, a baby? 

At the time, I worked at a childcare center. It became so difficult to be around children when I wanted one of my own so badly. Stressed, I left my job and I took some time off to stay at home.

I began to think I wasn't deserving. I started trying to find something to fix about myself to make me feel worthy enough.

Trusting God for children 

After months of procedures, we decided with our doctor our best chance to conceive would be through in vitro fertilization. 

On our first try, we implanted two viable embryos. Those embryos turned into our now nine-year-old twins, Elijah and Will. They were our first little miracles. 

Four years after we started trying for a baby, we finally held not one, but two babies in our arms. A double blessing!

When the twins were about 18 months old, we started trying for more children, with no luck on our own. 

We knew I could have a baby. We knew it could happen. We went back to the Mayo Clinic and decided we'd do a frozen transfer with the eggs we had frozen after our first round of in vitro.

The first transfer didn't work, but the second one did. Then I had a miscarriage.

When we lost our baby, I thought: 

Why do all of these things have to happen to me? 

I don’t want to be the person who has to deal with all of this.

It was painful. I just wanted to have a family.

I didn't understand why God would give us such a perfect gift only to take it away so quickly. Infertility had broken my heart for years and that felt horrible enough. 

But now we had lost a baby and the heartache seemed too much to bear. I didn't know how I would recover.

God had another plan. Three months after our miscarriage, much to our surprise, I became pregnant without medical help.

It was such a great moment to know that we had been led to this point and that we never stopped trusting. It was incredible.

Nine months later, my son Caleb was born. He's six now.

Growing our family with God

I had three beautiful children, but Nick and I had another choice to make. We couldn't decide if we wanted to grow our family even more. I decided to ask a friend how I'd know when our family felt complete.

She said: "You would just know. We're done. Clear as day." 

Her words struck me. I knew in my heart I wanted a daughter. I felt God leading my heart. So we decided to take one more chance.

This time, we tried without medical intervention. 

We decided to try on our own for three months. If it happened, it happened. If it didn't, we decided that was God's plan for our family.

Our daughter, Evelyn, was conceived within a month. She's two now.It still blows my mind how God was able to take care of me and put something this big — a family with four beautiful, healthy children — in my life. 

I don’t know why some women are able to have children and some are not. 

What I do know is that God put something so deep on my heart, He made it happen. It might not be the exact way I planned, but God was with me through every step. 

Today, I have a stronger understanding about God's timing and how He works everything together. 

In my most broken moments, God is still working, leading me and shaping me through experiences into who I am meant to be. 

I believe God molds our lives and hearts so we can show His goodness to others.

This makes everything sound so easy. I know it’s not easy. I know the hurt and pain. 

But, for me, being able to see God at work in my life makes me know without a doubt He can make something good come out of anything. 

God is good and with Him, I can trust He is always beautifully piecing it together.