Trusting God after losing my dad
By Beth Haag
One of the things my mom and I did after Dad passed away was travel – as we weren’t able to do much of it the last two years of my dad’s life. For 25 years my dad battled an undiagnosed neurodegenerative disorder that slowly robbed him of his ability to walk, talk, write and swallow. After he passed away Dec. 30, 2014, we learned from his autopsy he had multiple system atrophy – often called “Parkinson’s on speed.”
On April 2, 2016, my parents would have celebrated 50 years of marriage. In honor of that, my mom wanted to take a train trip through the Canadian Rockies. As part of our package, we received free vouchers to the Vancouver Lookout – so we decided to start our one-day pre-tour day at the tower, which was 553 feet above the city.
A tour guide offered to point out various landmarks and neighborhoods. When she pointed out the longest suspension bridge in Western Canada named after two North Shore mountain peaks, I started bawling.
I looked at my mom and said, “you know the Lions Gate story, don’t you?”
With tears falling down my face and a shaky voice, I told her and the guide.
When my dad’s speech became hard to understand and he couldn’t hear very well, we bought my dad whiteboards to use to help with communication. Sadly, his writing wasn’t much better.
He had scribbled the words “Lions Gate” on one of his whiteboards; he was following the entertainment corporation’s stock. I was familiar with it because it’s the production group that created one of my all-time favorite TV shows, “Nashville.”
As we stood that day looking at the Lions Gate Bridge in Vancouver, the whiteboard in my dad’s office still had the words “Lions Gate.”
A view from the bus
Once the tour guide heard the story, she suggested seeing the bridge closer on a bus.
There was a Lions Gate Bridge stop inside Stanley Park. However, due to a car accident, the park entrance was temporarily closed.
When the bus stopped at Prospect Point in Stanley Park, we could see the Lions Gate Bridge from the bus. I took a couple photos, but we didn’t get off the bus to explore.
I was disappointed, I wanted to see the bridge up close. But deep in my heart, I knew I needed to come back here.
The ultimate view
To celebrate my 50th birthday, my mom and I returned to Vancouver in October 2017 to attend the Hearties Family Reunion – a weekend with people who are fans of the Hallmark Channel series “When Calls the Heart.”
Saturday at the reunion, a woman asked if she and her two daughters could sit at our table. When we asked where they were from, we were thrilled to find out Marcy was from Iowa as well. In a ballroom full of 450 people, the five Iowans ended up at the same table!
When Marcy mentioned they’d been to Stanley Park, I shared how I wanted to get a picture of the Lions Gate Bridge with me holding a picture of my dad’s Lions Gate handwritten sign.
Sunday after our set tour ended, my mom and I ventured in our rented black Kia Soul to drive to Stanley Park. We parked near Prospect Point Lookout and took pictures of me holding a picture of Dad’s Lions Gate sign with the bridge behind me.
I saw a downhill trail that appeared to go down to the bridge. As we walked closer on the trail, we saw the lion statutes Marcy had told me about. Then I saw a commemorative plaque:
“This table was erected to commemorate the visit of their majesties King George VI and Queen Elizabeth to Vancouver on May 29th, 1939 when their majesties crossed this Lions Gate Bridge.”
The bridge was dedicated 12 days after my dad was born.
Coincidence? I don’t think so.
I pointed the date out to my mom with tears coming down my face. We hugged.
We started walking on another trail, which took us down a steep hill to meet the Stanley Park waterfront path. I was concerned about how much more walking my 82-year-old mom could handle. We were walking alone in a foreign country without a clear idea as to where we were heading.
The trees we were walking through were so mammoth and dense we could no longer see the Lions Gate Bridge. I tried to use Google Maps to find out if we were on the shortest route back to Prospect Point, but without a clear point of reference, the directions didn’t help me. And my phone battery was quickly dying.
Truth be told, we were lost!
On a whim, we left the paved path next to the Stanley Park Drive for another trail.
As we walked, I kept reminding myself of the “Follow the Cloud” Bible teachings I’d read recently in John Stickl’s book. Based on Exodus 13:21-22, the teachings encouraged me to have the courage to trust God to take one next step ahead without being able to see my destination.
Instead of worrying about being lost, I tried to appreciate all the beauty around me. The fall foliage. The maple leaves twice the size of my mom’s hand. The trees that made us look like ants when we stood next to them.
Once I let go of the worry, I saw people at the top of the hill. I felt instant relief, as we’d returned to civilization.
Then I realized where we were.
Our hike took us from the waterfront seawall path along the Vancouver Harbor all the way to Stanley Park Drive, the road that goes over BC-99. There, we could see a spectacular view of the Lions Gate Bridge.
As we looked down about a half mile in front of us were the bridge’s two lion sculptures.
The view of the suspension bridge from above BC-99 was breathtaking, even more than it was at the base of the bridge.
We had reached this gorgeous view of God’s masterpiece by trusting Him – I admit, sometimes more reluctantly than others – one step at a time.
Our Lions Gate Bridge adventure illustrated what Follow the Cloud means. I can’t always see my final destination, but if I follow God in taking the next small steps, He will take me to places far better than I can ever imagine.
Beth Haag was blessed to be a caretaker during her dad’s 25-year battle with an undiagnosed neurological disorder. After learning from his autopsy he had outlived the average multiple system atrophy (often called “Parkinson’s on speed”) patient by 20 years, she was inspired to share the miracles she witnessed as she looked back on their unique father-daughter journey together.
A fourth-generation Des Moines native on her dad’s side, Haag teaches strategic written and visual communication classes at her alma mater, Iowa State’s Greenlee School of Journalism and Communication. When she’s not working at a local sporting event for Mediacom’s Connections channel, the Des Moines Hoover grad is usually watching the Hallmark Channel or her favorite sports team, the Chicago (and Iowa) Cubs. Her 9-year-old wire-hair fox terrier Lilly, who sings whenever she hears “Go Cubs Go,” also ensures Beth takes time to play every day. Connect with Beth Haag on Twitter at @IowaStateBeth or via email: bethhaag@gmail.com.